December 21, 2009

The Remains

Besides a disturbing amount of plastic 1/2 gallon bottles, champagne bottles, beer bottles, cans and keg cups sticky with residue, I discovered a tiny alligator hair clip, a multitude of business cards for someone who does various promotional activities, a biscuit, and Orbs! For those of you who don't know, Orbs are the latest in tobacco development. They are tiny little brown pellets made of finely milled tobacco, hidden in a discreet child-proof plastic container that took me over 30 minutes to open. You are meant to sit there and suck on this little tab and relieve your nicotine fix in a non-repellent manner. I tried it. I don't recommend that you do. It is possible that chewing a cigarette up and swallowing it might be better than the slow dissolving horror of Orbs. In addition my stomach was destroyed for a better portion of the next day and I can only attribute Orbs to this, as nothing else was out of the ordinary regarding my diet or habits.What is more terrifying is that someone at our party was toting around Orbs. The awesome thing is that I discovered the Orbs on the back of the vinyl porch love-seat, indicating that the owner of the Orbs forsook them for a much more appealing, socially acceptable cigarette.

3 comments:

Jocelyn said...

i bet you a dollar it was sam

Alexa said...

Ahahahahah. Yes! It was totally Sam

Rachel Wrong said...

I asked Sam. They weren't his orbs.