October 20, 2010

Dirty. Um. Yeah.

It's good to experience new things. So, my friend Charissa and I decided a while ago that we wanted to investigate a side of Portland that we have never experienced. The spray-tan, hair-gel, push-up bra'd side of town. Specifically Dirty. The nightclub. Add some wings at Hooters and a quick game of pick-up basketball and you've got yourself A Day!

I'm not sure why we decided this because I just took a look at the Dirty website and even I am getting cold feet. I don't want to scare anyone but look at those photos. I love kitsch. I love trashy. But this may be too much. I'm know I'm going to end up seeing people from highschool here. The website advertises thirty-five stripper poles, as well as some swings? Thirty-five? Whose grand vision was that?

Huy asked me to post a dress code on here. Um. Judging by the photos I would suggest that the men grow some ridiculous facial hair, buy some Paris Hilton sunglasses, and spray your face orange. Maybe pick up a tall-tee encrusted with rhinestones and work on your best "I'm a gangster from Beaverton" pose. You are going to need it.

Ladies? Just don't wear much of anything. You know, wear a nice tube dress or something. And maybe swing by Mystic Tan.

Some girl with a Coach bag may try to make out with you for a photo op. Avoid this.

Note the classy shirt.

Requisite pose and facial hair.

These photos are from their website. Apparently someone waltzes around with a big camera and takes party photos. You can buy these! We may end up with mementos!


Elizabeth said...

I don't know why, but I thought you were going to Dixie, which is marginally better... it only has handles so you can dance on the bar, and a mechanical bull, no stripper poles. Although it does lose points for displaying a confederate flag.

So, anyway, I guess with your photo montage I feel slightly better about going wine tasting and to a baby shower instead.

I can't wait to see how this plays out...

Rachel Wrong said...

A baby shower. Ha!

Charisstopher said...

THIRTY FIVE STRIPPER POLES? I'm even more scared now. This is going to require a lot more tequila than i thought...and maybe some kneepads.