Dos and Don'ts of Backpacking with your Significant Other

Sam and I hiked up to Santiam Lake last weekend. It was our first backpacking trip as a couple and really couldn't have gone better. However, like any new experience, it will provide a template for our next attempt. Some things were perfect and some things could use some adjustment. 

Do: Wake up at 5:00. Start out the morning with coffee and toast. Read your boyfriend the Savage Love column when it is particularly shocking.

Don't: Forget to change to your tail light. You will be pulled over on I-5 and almost have a heart attack. 

Do: Make sure you know where you're going.

Don't: Forget your notebook/sketchpad/directions in the car.

Do: Find the perfect walking stick.

Don't: Decide to pee behind a tree at the exact moment some hikers are coming around the bend. Stopping midstream is uncomfortable for you, plus the hikers will feel awkward about having to walk by some girl standing silently behind a tree while holding her pants around her waist.

Do: Bring delicious turkey sandwiches with avocado and basil. Eat them on the shore of Duffy Lake and feel good about your foray into the outdoors.

Don't: Forget that your Northwestern spirit feelings are no match for your boyfriend's Midwestern over-obvious logic. Forgetting this will send you across the Misleading Meadow, up the Road to Doom, past the Lake of False Hope, across the Barren Burnt Pine Wasteland, and finally into The Land of Early Death where you will finally realize that there is no way you are going the right way.

Do: Turn around.

Don't: Assume that your journey is over now that you are at Santiam Lake. The truth is, you are going to walk around the lake to get to the farthest campsite and the fact that you thought you were done makes this a million times more difficult. Try not to lose it.

Do: Give your girlfriend some space. Let her walk down the trail thinking she is by herself. This is beneficial for two reasons: (1) she will get her second wind, and (2) you will have the opportunity to watch her struggle to get over a down tree for three minutes. It will give you great joy.

Don't: Forget the marshmallows.

Do: Set up an awesome campground complete with tarp awning and firewood pile while your girlfriend naps in the meadow. She will be impressed.

Do: Eat a delicious pasta dinner and then sit around the fire and talk about how awesome you guys are at backpacking.

Do: Say something like, "Oh man, I wish I had brought a little bottle of whiskey" and then once your girlfriend agrees that would have been awesome, pull out the little bottle of whiskey you brought. Again, she will be impressed.

Don't: Try to use the water filtration pump by yourself. Apparently, for you, it's a two-person job.

Do: Enjoy breakfast and coffee while sitting on little rocks on the shore of the lake. Watch the clouds whip overhead, the fog spin over the lake, the fish rise. Be glad you are in the mountains.

Don't: Start hiking with every warm piece of clothing you own on your back. Once you really start walking, you will almost keel over from the heat. 

Do: Enjoy your walk back to civilization and then head straight to your girlfriend's parents' house where you can shower and then eat a warm home-cooked meal.

Roast Beef

Last weekend I went down to Corvallis with Sam and Kyle Arthur in a large diesel truck (borrowed from my dad). We were on a mission to pick up some free furniture from Kyle's dad's place and decided to make a night of it. Friday night Corvallis. Woooo.

For those of you who haven't spent a lot of time in Corvallis, it has a large state university. That's about it. Of the two state universities in Oregon, it's the one that is more focused on agriculture, science, engineering, and other such things. Serious things. Things that involve wearing Carhartts and shoes with rugged soles and being socially awkward. If you want to experiment with your sexuality, get your nose pierced, or grow some dreads, you should go to Eugene.

Anyway, it was a total ghost town. We walked from Kyle's dad's house to a local bar, bought a pitcher, and watched some tough girls play pool. There were beards, and sweatshirts, and old grizzled men wearing stained baseball hats. Sam started to fall asleep. He was actually concerned that we would have to carry him back to the house.

Kyle Arthur would not be defeated and attempted to take us to another bar in town, the "Dirty Dirty" Peacock. There was a cover so we didn't go in, but it did look more promising. The windows upstairs were steamed up and shuddering with bass. The crowd looked, well, less good ol' boy than the last place, but still pretty tough. The kind of girls that bleach their hair with home kits and aren't afraid to dump a beer on your dress. We continued to a place called Impulse.

Oh Impulse. Ye of terrible bartenders, rap music videos, and a wall of couches covered in pillows. There was a DJ playing and hoochies dancing  (actual hoochies! They were wearing awkwardly short dresses that required tugging down every five seconds, which they managed to incorporate into their self-conscious dancing). I was impressed by a trio in red and black,  accenting their dancing with high kicks. You can't go wrong with high kicks.

We sat on the couch with the mountain of pillows and people-watched. A girl who looked like Meg from Family Guy stood against the wall near the bathroom. Every once in a while she would sidle closer to the dance floor and start waving her hands around. Then she would get embarrassed and retreat back to the wall like a turtle wearing a stocking cap. We saw scrunchies. We saw super-aggressive, hands on the knees grinding. We saw the most awkward white dancing we have ever seen.

AND THEN. Remember the high-kicking dance trio? They got on stage. They said, "We're Roast Beef!" and then they started rapping. They were actually a female rap group. Amazing. They were like Salt n' Pepa if Salt n' Pepa was just okay and had a crappy sound system, but they had some synchronized dance moves, decent style, and added a whole new element to our Corvallis adventure. We were like, Roast Beef. Awesome.


But as we were leaving we saw a poster. They were actually called Rose Bent. Not quite as great. But still pretty good.

Psychedelic Monday

I went up to Government Camp for an impromptu girl's weekend in the snow. Eva rents this A-frame up there, it is amazing. Three stories high with these treacherous ladder stairs and random carpet on one of the beams, star lamps, and crazy dogs. We did a lot of laughing and discussed important things like shopping of the future (atomizers!), relationships and their many perils, positive thinking, making out, the best places for surf vacations, extreme snow incidents, and Jake Gyllenhaal. We also went to Charlie's, one of the two bars in Government Camp. If you are in Government Camp you have to go to Charlie's. Meagan told some guy to "beat it." Meagan is small and blond and not especially intimidating but with phrases like that, she is well on her way.  It was great.

We also discussed music and Eva introduced me to Prince Rama. They are this psychedelic band of three, including two sisters who grew up in a Hare Krishna cult in Florida. I mean, not just Hare Krishna but Florida? Whoa.

So Ready for Spring

Seriously. It's been nice to see all the blossoms and daffodils, but I am ready for actual warm weather and sunshine. I want to read on a blanket outside, I want to bare arms, and I want to stop wearing tights with my dresses and skirts. Last spring I went with Heidi to Sisters and we stayed at her parents' house. It was a nice break from valley weather. We hiked out to her secret spot, made a mother's day breakfast for her mom, and I found the garden rabbit at a thrift shop (its head froze and fell off this winter, RIP).