Dos and Don'ts of Backpacking with your Significant Other

Sam and I hiked up to Santiam Lake last weekend. It was our first backpacking trip as a couple and really couldn't have gone better. However, like any new experience, it will provide a template for our next attempt. Some things were perfect and some things could use some adjustment. 

Do: Wake up at 5:00. Start out the morning with coffee and toast. Read your boyfriend the Savage Love column when it is particularly shocking.

Don't: Forget to change to your tail light. You will be pulled over on I-5 and almost have a heart attack. 

Do: Make sure you know where you're going.

Don't: Forget your notebook/sketchpad/directions in the car.

Do: Find the perfect walking stick.

Don't: Decide to pee behind a tree at the exact moment some hikers are coming around the bend. Stopping midstream is uncomfortable for you, plus the hikers will feel awkward about having to walk by some girl standing silently behind a tree while holding her pants around her waist.

Do: Bring delicious turkey sandwiches with avocado and basil. Eat them on the shore of Duffy Lake and feel good about your foray into the outdoors.

Don't: Forget that your Northwestern spirit feelings are no match for your boyfriend's Midwestern over-obvious logic. Forgetting this will send you across the Misleading Meadow, up the Road to Doom, past the Lake of False Hope, across the Barren Burnt Pine Wasteland, and finally into The Land of Early Death where you will finally realize that there is no way you are going the right way.

Do: Turn around.

Don't: Assume that your journey is over now that you are at Santiam Lake. The truth is, you are going to walk around the lake to get to the farthest campsite and the fact that you thought you were done makes this a million times more difficult. Try not to lose it.

Do: Give your girlfriend some space. Let her walk down the trail thinking she is by herself. This is beneficial for two reasons: (1) she will get her second wind, and (2) you will have the opportunity to watch her struggle to get over a down tree for three minutes. It will give you great joy.

Don't: Forget the marshmallows.

Do: Set up an awesome campground complete with tarp awning and firewood pile while your girlfriend naps in the meadow. She will be impressed.

Do: Eat a delicious pasta dinner and then sit around the fire and talk about how awesome you guys are at backpacking.

Do: Say something like, "Oh man, I wish I had brought a little bottle of whiskey" and then once your girlfriend agrees that would have been awesome, pull out the little bottle of whiskey you brought. Again, she will be impressed.

Don't: Try to use the water filtration pump by yourself. Apparently, for you, it's a two-person job.

Do: Enjoy breakfast and coffee while sitting on little rocks on the shore of the lake. Watch the clouds whip overhead, the fog spin over the lake, the fish rise. Be glad you are in the mountains.

Don't: Start hiking with every warm piece of clothing you own on your back. Once you really start walking, you will almost keel over from the heat. 

Do: Enjoy your walk back to civilization and then head straight to your girlfriend's parents' house where you can shower and then eat a warm home-cooked meal.

Consequences: A Drama in Three Parts, Part 3

III

Saturday dawned bright. Our only full day at Shi Shi, the day for leisurely breakfast, morning cocktails, tidepool exploration, swimming in the ocean, dancing in the sand. When life is this idyllic, it's only natural (from a dramatic story perspective) that tragedy is looming. As a foreboding David Lynchian soundtrack floated on the wind past our unhearing ears, we came up to the second camp to say hello. Nathan (Team Seattle), someone  I had met earlier that day when I was distracted by the task of turning 48 eggs into breakfast tacos, was lying in the sand against a piece of driftwood. His nose, his whole face really, was turning a garish shade of red. "Do you have any sunscreen?" I asked him. 

"They have some at camp, maybe."

"You should use some. It looks like you're burning."

He grunted an acknowledgment that communicated he wasn't a sunscreen kind of guy. I moved on. 

We spent the afternoon swimming, running up and down the beach, and had a quick lunch at the Seattle Camp before going back to Portland camp to rest and relax for a bit. I read a chapter of The Hobbit outloud. We had cocktail hour. And then we got dressed and prepared to head back down to Camp Seattle for dinner. Gabe and his crew were providing a hot dog and chili feast, and Camp Seattle had promised a massive bonfire. It was, indeed, a massive bonfire. Practically the size of a funeral pyre. We arrived to half-naked friends stoking a pyramid of driftwood taller than me. After roasting hotdogs on a smaller cooking fire, we moved to the bonfire which was now roaring merrily. We sat down on driftwood logs circled around the fire, passed whiskey around, and began story hour. This involved someone standing up and telling a story about someone else in the group. The person featured in the story was the next person to stand up and tell a story about someone else. The bonfire raged on. It was so hot you couldn't stand close enough to roast a marshmallow. 

It was then that Bob appeared. But no one saw him. Almost no one heard him. He might have passed unnoticed but for the events left in his wake. He slouched into our circle, looked into our eyes, and whispered in Nathan's sunburnt ear, "Firewalk with meeeeee." And so Nathan did. In an act of bravado (and stupidity), Nathan attempted to run up one of the half-burnt logs that leaned across the bonfire. He did not succeed. He half-fell, dropped a foot down, and managed to get to the other side. Seconds later, Greg did the same slightly more successfully. What followed was loss, darkness, mayhem. Nathan surrounded by his friends in the far-off low tide, his moans, the night pressing in, the fire burning pitilessly. 

The story comes fragmented. Some of us had already gone back to the Portland camp, some were lost to whiskey, some to fear and helplessness. I saw his blackened shin but his foot was only half in the light and covered in sand. At a loss, I went back to camp and fell asleep in my tent. Darci and Caitlin stayed up through the night and pouring water over his burns. Greg lay in his tent whimpering, his feet burned as well, but not so badly. Someone's cell phone and a call to 911. The Coast Guard and Search and Rescue came down through the forest on ATVs, I imagine them looking like the men searching for E.T. in the forest, all flashing lights and noise in the night. A helicopter was called and circled over the beach at sunrise, took Nathan away around six in the morning. We woke up to mangled stories and confusion. Darci's description to the dispatcher: "Nathan, earmuffs." He covered his ears. "It looks like a dead person's foot."

The happy ending to the story is that he's okay in the he-will-live sense. There are the bills for Flight for Life, the hospital stay, and skin grafts that will come later, but alive and in debt is probably better than loss of a foot to gangrene. Another positive is that it's quite probable that he will never make this exact mistake again. One can hope that his firewalking days are over; he walked and came through on the other side.

Consequences: A Drama in Three Parts, Part 2

II

Shi Shi is epically beautiful. Rock formations, sandy beaches, a strangely diffused light similar to those scenes in movies when people think that they've died and they talk to a loved one for awhile who's all lit up and glowing and gives really great advice. We arrived, laden with heavy packs, to find real sunshine. This feels like a miracle on the Olympic Peninsula. We set up our camp, jumped in the ocean, and watched the sunset while some of Team Portland prepared dinner on an open fire.

I should probably explain how this worked. The Shi Shi Beach trip had its humble beginnings three years ago. I had been dreaming about checking out the Olympic Peninsula and brought it up with John-Robert (JR) who lives in Seattle. JR had been weaned on tales of his dad wandering around at Shi Shi Beach and we decided to follow through. The original group: Gabe, JR, Darci, Alexis and I, set out from Seattle and spent one night at Shi Shi. We loved it. We vowed to go back. Last year we expanded to two cars (one from Seattle and one from Portland) and spent two nights. Each of us were responsible for a shared meal for the group and we ate incredibly well all weekend and fell in love with food sharing. Fast forward to this year. Twenty-five people. Madness. Mayhem. We had a group coming from Portland and a group coming from Seattle, six cars, and still were attempting to plan shared meals in an organized fashion. Team Seattle did not seem as in to the idea of food sharing but this was only assumed on our part due to their lack of internet presence. There was talk of eating members of Team Seattle if things went awry.

Team Seattle had set up a camp a mile and half down the beach from where we settled. This worked out well, as there are various rules in place to preserve the pristine nature of Shi Shi. They came down to dinner and we sat around the campfire and told stories and talked. It was a modest fire. It was getting late and clouds were rolling in from the ocean when Jocelyn turned to me and said, "This makes me think of Bob."

The conversation turned to Jocelyn repeating, "Fire walk with meeeeee" in a creepy voice while I made various high-pitched noises of discomfort.

I hope you've seen Twin Peaks. It's great. Bob is basically evil incarnate and appears as this hideous grey-haired figure who appears in visions, nightmares, and mirrors. Lynch makes this character move incredibly, unnaturally fast, snapping his teeth and growling, and the whole effect is something straight out of a bad dream. Let's not make too little of this. David Lynch is the king of foreshadowing. Why this five second long still of the lacquered box on the mantle? Why close the scene with a zoom into her glassy eyes? Why would Jocelyn think of Bob? It always has meaning. You just have to pay attention.

Consequences: A Drama in Three Parts, Part 1

I

There comes a time in everyone's life when they make a really stupid decision and have to face the consequences. For some this comes late in life, for others it comes early. I have made many stupid decisions in my day. Sometimes I have received punishment in direct measure to the crime, and other times I have managed to squeak by without measurable effect. The Fates are fickle.

The first time I truly remember being punished for my actions was when I was about four years old. We still lived at the first house I ever knew, in St. Helens. I was eating cereal for breakfast and my dad was sitting across from me at the table. I feel like he may have been reading the newspaper. I'm not sure. What I do know was that I was also drinking apple juice. I had finished my cereal and left the sugary milk in the bottom of the bowl. I didn't enjoy drinking leftover cereal milk, something my parents forced me to drink so that my bones would be the sturdy pillars of health they are today. In direct defiance, I poured my apple juice into my milk. "Look," I piped up, "I mixed them." I'm not sure what I expected. Probably a pat on the head and suggestion to go play. What I received was a steely glare. 

"You will finish that." I'm sure I responded in some negating fashion. "You will finish that before you leave the table."

After many protests and the horrible realization that my dad was sticking to his guns, I took a sip. Do you know what apple juice and milk mixed together tastes like? Shit. It totally tastes like shit. I drank the whole thing.

The great thing (or perhaps the sad thing) about mistakes, is that the possibilities are endless. While I never mixed apple juice and cereal milk together again (and thankfully have never tasted that concoction since), I continue to find creative ways to do stupid things. I'm pretty sure that most people experience this unless you are so boring that you hardly do anything at all.

My friends are not boring. It is quite likely that Shi Shi Beach has never witnessed a debacle like the one it saw last weekend. We had our annual Shi Shi Beach camping trip last weekend, and while it was beautiful, joyful, and otherwise magical, not all of us escaped unscathed.

Tune in tomorrow and prepare yourself for a lot of Twin Peaks references.

The Great Outdoors

Last fall, Sam, Jocelyn, Tom and I went camping at the beach. Correction. We went "camping" at Fort Stevens State Park. We had pretty big expectations because an acquaintance of Sam's had told him that it was this great place to camp. We went there and apparently, even though it was late in the year, we should have made reservations. However, there was a prime spot left. The man behind the desk showed us on the map, "It's right by the bathrooms and the showers. The ladies will like that." He winked at us. It really was. It was right next the showers. And the Oregonian newspaper box. So much convenience! We got up in the morning and laughed and laughed. Even more funny was that Sam's friend did not tell him it was a "great" place to camp. We looked at the text in the light of day and it turns out he said it was "tight". Never trust the opinion of someone who uses "tight" as a synonym for "good."

Shi Shi II

It's time for a photo essay. I'm not great with prompt uploading of photos but I recently went through my Shi Shi photos the other day and it's about time I share a few. For some reason I love the idea of annual events. Planning has never been my strong suit, but as I get older I've found it more natural. I'm also easily disappointed (impossibly high expectations for everything) and find the anticipation of an event to be almost as important as the event itself. For these reasons, the annual event provides a particular joy for me. You can look forward to it for an entire year. You can make next year better. Shi Shi I was all about spontaneity. Shi Shi II was all about food. Each person brought a meal and we all waited with anticipation to see what delicious surprise we would be eating next. We also got a full day of magical sun, a rare occurrence at Shi Shi. We explored down the coast and ended up having to wade back at high tide in waist-deep water. So much adventure. I'm already looking forward to Shi Shi III.

Keeping It Organized

Those of you who hang out with me on a semi-regular basis know that I can be kind of a mess. Not like food and drink spilled down my front mess (though that can happen), but a generally disorganized, can't find what I'm looking for, rummaging through my purse, running through the house frantically, chronic double exiter. (Double exiter: You know how some people run out the door with a quick see you later and then come back sheepishly 55 seconds later to grab whatever it is they forgot?) So I thought it might interest you to see how organized I can be when it comes to camping. I even took meeting minutes, typed them up and sent them to the group. Here they are:


Ron Toms, 5:30
Attendees: Rachel Wright, Charissa Robbins, Kyle Arthur, Darci Leffler, Sarah Anderson
I had a french dip and a glass of white wine. Both were delicious. Sarah (Gabe's fill-in) and Darci also had the same sandwich. Darci's salad had an abundance of dressing. Charissa and Kyle did not have food, but did consume multiple beers and water. Let the record show that the patio was relatively shaded and not at all crowded. Gabe briefly attended via iphone. And so it begins. . . . .

Transportation: We are going to rent a minivan for this adventure. Kyle Arthur has volunteered to be the renter of the van and put his credit card in harm's way. The van is $280 for the weekend plus the cost of gasoline (is that right Darci?). I'm not sure exactly how we're working out division of cost, as Darci and John-Robert will be participating in the van ride from Seattle to Shi Shi, but not the entire journey. But you can expect total transportation cost to be around $70. Let's make sure we all contribute so Kyle Arthur (unemployed) doesn't get screwed.

Schedule: Portland departure at 6:00 p.m. on Thursday. I imagine you Westsiders will meet up on your corner and can swing by and pick up Charissa and I. Seattle arrival around 9? Seattle departure around 9? Shi Shi departure around 10:00 a.m. on Sunday morning so that we can get back to Portland at a reasonable hour.

Food: Okay. We divided up meals and as there are only so many meals, JR and Andrew are on snack duty. John-Robert- I have a s'mores request but obviously you can do whatever you want. I have a small frying pan and a small pot that I will bring for cooking (a couple more pots would probably be helpful in cooking for seven). Bring whatever else you will need to cook your meal. Also, we will have two camp stoves (me and Kyle Arthur). I'm probably going to do another pasta dish.

Friday Dinner: Rachel
Saturday Breakfast: Charissa
Saturday Lunch: Kyle Arthur
Saturday Dinner: Darci
Sunday Breakfast: Gabe (also, perhaps traditional cheese and salami)
Car Snacks: Andrew
Camp Snacks: John-Robert

Drink: Kyle Arthur is going to be bringing some mini bottles of booze (he loves those). Charissa is going to bring a bottle of whiskey. We may need more whiskey. Kyle Arthur mentioned bringing beer as well, and maybe carrying in a cooler.

Supplies:

Bear Bucket: John-Robert. Will we need two?
Everyone: Your own plate/bowl/food receptacle and utensils
Everyone: Gallon of water
Tents, sleeping bags, etc.: I have a tent that will fit three. Charissa and I will be in it, with room for one more if need be. How is everyone else on that front?
Toys: Darci is bringing frisbee, speakers and ipod
Water filter: JR?
Camp stuff: I have some pans, camp soap, a little cutting board
Coffee: Charissa is taking charge of the coffee front

Miscellaneous: I think that's about it. Bring clothing for all weather but hopefully it will be nice. Bathing suits. Insect repellent. Please pipe up if I've forgotten everything. Don't forget some cash for the ferry. CDs for the minivan. Cards? Travel scrabble? Ooooh. We should bring some musical instruments!

Yay!