Shamfetti

I'm pretty indifferent to this holiday. I don't know. The pinching thing always bummed me out and I'm old enough to drink but I'm not catholic and I'm not Irish and not really into drinking like an Irish person just because they have this special day to celebrate St. Patrick. I looked it up. Apparently he explained the trinity using a clover and that is his greatest claim to fame.

But I caught a ride to Denver last Saturday with my friend Chris Banks and on our way down we found out that there was a St. Patrick's Day parade going on. So we bee-lined for that but totally missed it. All we saw was the aftermath. Confetti, vomit, puddles of beer and a bunch of day-drunk people wearing really stupid hats (ah, we didn't actually see vomit but it would have made the whole thing complete). It was kind of like an all-ages frat party dyed green.

The best thing about the whole venture was that we passed a small scene on our way back to the car. This woman had been arrested and was sitting on the curb defiantly and the police were milling around and we had to step down off the sidewalk to pass by. I made eye contact with her but kept my face pretty neutral, leaning towards sympathetic. She took one look at Chris Banks, who hadn't said a word, and growled, "Don't be a dick!"