Time to Party?

Okay, my inbox has been flooded lately with all these ads for special holiday dresses, festive accessories, and the like. Also, around this time the the lady magazines start giving you tips for how to avoid becoming fat at all the holiday parties you attend (like there is a never-ending parade of holiday parties, like your calendar is booked to the brim), such as: only drink low-calorie white wine and eat a protein before the party so you won't fill up on cream-cheese filled puff-pastry. So, what I'm thinking is, well, two things.

One, I love dressing up and this whole festive party dress thing is really appealing. I am the sort of person who will buy some crazy sequined dress (like the one above) with the thought that I will be able to wear it at some event at some time in the near future. Basically, this advertising is directed at people like me. Also, I love delicious snack food that is served with toothpicks. Who doesn't? I wouldn't even follow those tips, I would not eat a full meal before I attend the party and I would just wholeheartedly enjoy that delicious scallop wrapped in bacon. 

Two, I'm never invited to holiday parties. I mean, if you believe magazines and advertising, there are people out there holding charming, cocktail-attire soirees at which they serve eggnog and hot whiskey drinks, and everyone is covered in glitter, and there's mistletoe, and pompous laughter, and the evening ends with dancing and maybe a very classy gift exchange in which things like gourmet olive oil and tickets to Cirque du Soleil are traded. But I don't know these people. I'm not even sure they exist. But if they do, these parties are happening without me. And I think it's tragic.

My call to all of you is to host some sort of glamorous function that requires wearing fancy clothes. And invite me. Mostly because it will be fun, and also because I want an excuse to wear sequins (and I have some real treasures stashed away for the gift exchange).