December 9, 2011

Friday Morning

I've been on this health kick and part of that involves finding inspiration for maintaining said health kick. So I'm eating my toast and burnt coffee this morning, flipping through this magazine and this fitness guru is all, "Get up and do something for you every morning. Even if you can't work out, you should get up and do some situps and whatnot." And I'm thinking, Yeah. Yeah! I can do that. On the tail of my elation comes the realization that such things are impossible. They are probably possible for some people, but not for me. The only consistency to my mornings are the tornado-like force of my attempts to get out the door and go to work. Take today for example:

6:45: Sam wakes me up.

6:45-7:00: I lie in bed. I tell myself that I am trying to remember my dreams and this is very important to my creativity and general well-being, but really, I'm just lying in bed.

7:00: I actually get out of bed. This happens incrementally. I have various pieces of clothing lying next to the bed so that I can put them on without getting out from under the covers. I do this and then I get up. I do not make the bed.

7:10: I walk to the gym. It's freezing. I wake up every morning with the goal of going to the gym before work (because I never go after work) and then I set my alarm for later and burrow under the covers because it's very dark and it's very cold and surely I will make myself go after work. But not today! Today I go.

7:15: There is a huge RV painted like a energy drink can in front of the gym. Are there touring Extreme Racquetball teams? It appears so. The gym is incredibly crowded for some reason. There are three different trainers taking clients around and this group of guys doing synchronized jumping jack/push up/weight lift routines. I glower at everyone and do a smattering of light exercise: few minutes on the rower, some bicep curls and whatnot. Then I shower and go home.

8:00: There is nothing to eat. I have one piece of sourdough toast and the heel of a loaf of wheat bread. The heel is small. It burns and shrivels up into this little black fungus-looking thing. The coffee is burnt as well. I read the fitness magazine from 2007 to get inspiration for my day.

8:20: I planned my outfit the night before (to save time), so this will be quick and easy. I just need some black tights. I have a bag full of tights in the closet which I blindly root around in for awhile before taking it and dumping it out on the bed in desperation. I have two brown pairs, one grey pair, various striped pairs, one navy pair, and various fishnets. None of these are black. This is shocking. I will have to wear the stupid thigh high pair. It turns out I only have one of these.

8:35: The outfit has to change. I go through the whole process again. I pick out shoes. I brush my teeth, makeup, etc.

8:50: I have to wear different shoes. I can only find one of those. I run around the house frantically, unevenly, because I'm only wearing one shoe.

8:55: Shoes on. Can't find my keys.

8:58: Keys are in the bowl. I lock up, run out, and grab my bike. The house looks like it has been ransacked.

I'm curious. Who out there has a morning routine?


Anonymous said...

5:30-alarm goes off, snuggle through 3 sets of Snoozes. I say "Yes Mornings! I love Mornings" at least 5 times.
5:54- Shower (I sit in the tub with the water on as hot as possible for 15 minutes, then spend 3-5 actually washing)
6:15 - my dog scratches at the bathroom door, signaling that it is time to turn off the shower.
6:16- Dry off,weigh myself, feel motivated for the gym.
6:17- brush teeth
6:20 to 6:40- Try on/search for various outfits, decide I hate all my clothes, in between throwing the a ball in various directions (down the stairs in the laundry basket, under beds, etc) for my dog to fetch.
6:43- Receive notice that "We are late", put on shoes, get in the car.
6:47- put on make-up in the car listen to NPR.
7:02- Arrive at work, start day.


Rachel Wrong said...


I am impressed by your positive attitude. I don't think I ever say that I love mornings. Unless I don't have to go to work. Then they're okay.

Caitlin said...

9:00 alarm goes off, I ignore
9:30 second alarm goes off, I snooze and attempt to remember dreams because this IS important to understanding my life.
9:40 "I really should get out of bed now" mental war begins, but it's so cold and I don't want to.
9:50 "I REALLY should get out of bed now." (just five more minutes)
9:54 Jump out of bed with a start, remove sleeping hat, make bed, rinse mouth, wash face, thunder down stairs to feed bunny.
10:00 Stand dumbfounded in freezing cold closet for two minutes mentally preparing outfits
10:02 DRESS there is no going back. What goes on is what I'm wearing. Brush teeth and hair if time allows, if not just spray some hairspray.
10:08 Thunder down stairs again, close bunny pen, put shoes on, grab coffee cup and peel out in truck.
10:30 Arrive at work, steal coffee and get started.

I actually hit a new low this past week because it was so cold, I didn't get out of bed until 10:09. Surprisingly, I was only 10 minutes late to work.

Rachel Wrong said...

I have to say, I'm really enjoying this sharing of morning routines. For another gem, check out Charissa's blog post
inspired by this one.