Sordid Side of Town

Let's talk about the sordid side of getting married. The bachelor and bachelorette parties. They're weird right? Maybe I don't really get it because I grew up without television and my parents are the kind of people who didn't have the parties before they got married (not because they didn't like to party but they just didn't), but . . . . I guess I just don't really get it.

I understand having a night out with your friends. I think that's nice. But shouldn't they be a more fun version of a usual night out?  There seems to be this American mythology and expectation surrounding the notion of the bachelor party. I've attended a couple bachelorette parties and they have all varied pretty drastically, but there always seems to be penis paraphernalia and veils. For they guys, you see the ramped up version in movies like The Hangover and Very Bad Things, like, this is your last chance to touch a bunch of boobs and possibly have sex with someone (which somehow isn't cheating) before you are doomed to a horrible, monotonous existence with the one you love. This seems really counter-intuitive to the whole concept of marriage but the industry supports the idea that this is the guy's last night as a single man. There was even a show called Stag: A Test of Love. This show filmed the bachelor party and then showed it to the fiancee the next day and then filmed their horrified response. That was an actual show.

 So, I didn't really know what to expect when I went to Kyle's bachelor party. I was the only girl, which was fine, but definitely awkward. We got a back room at Pho Gia and set Kyle up at in a table in the center like it was last supper or something. I brought him a gag blow up doll I snagged at a garage sale, which we all tattooed with a Sharpie, and then we went to Sandy Hut for drinks and jello shots. The blow up doll was surprising popular. Or maybe not so surprisingly. He was pretty great.

If I have a party, I just want to go camping with my friends. What do you guys think? Are traditional bachelor/bachelorette parties an important part of getting married? Am I missing the point?

It's All Over

Wow, what a weekend. Being in a wedding is hard work, but also, not really because you're doing things like being a good friend and dressing up and smiling and drinking lots of wine and eating food and talking to people. So, you know, not like going out and chopping down a tree or something, but also not as easy as sitting around in the Romance Killers all day and watching television. 

Kyle and Emily did such a great job planning this wedding, and having been around for the whole planning process, I know they worked really hard, but also focused on the good stuff and didn't let it get all consuming. The result was so festive and fun and unique to them.

There was so much laughter and excitement and smiling. I got to see all my friends who don't live here because they all came out for the wedding, and it was just really great to see Kyle and Emily surrounded by the people they love, affirming the fact that they love each other. Highlights included getting ready at the Nines (thanks again Darci and Liz!), the story of how Kyle and Emily came to be, Emily's sweet catfish poem, certain unnamed men crying in the audience, the really awesome photo booth*, listening to the toasts (and giving one which was terrifying but also very exhilarating), girl's time in the bathroom complete with illicit whiskey swigs, talking with the bride and groom's parents about the bride and groom, dancing to Robyn, delicious chocolate cake, dancing with Laurence (he came up from SLC!), and finishing up the evening at our place with The Last Unicorn and pizza from Dominos complete with Awesome Crust.

*Kyle Carnes set up the perfect photobooth. Here's a post about it.

Wedding Weekend

As most of you know, I am a groomslady in Kyle's wedding. It's happening. The bachelor party went down last night, complete with a private room at a pho restaurant and a novelty toy blowup doll christened something Branson (Chuck maybe? From Death Wish? I don't know). I was a partial attendee last night. Partial because I only went to dinner and then to the Sandy Hut and ducked out once strip clubs became the main topic of conversation. More on that later. Anyway, the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner are tonight! The wedding is tomorrow! Everything is happening so quickly.

To get everyone in the wedding mood, here are shots from the last fantastic wedding I attended. Lauren and Ben were married down in the redwoods on Lauren's family farm. It was a beautiful wedding and included the added benefit of a weekend away and the adventure that came with it. I'm pretty sure we all walked away with some stories.

Congratulations to Kyle and Emily! And belatedly, once again, to Lauren and Ben.

Real Life Conversation 1

I'm in a wedding in a few weeks and I'm on the groom's side. I'm not wearing a bridesmaid dress, nor am I getting my hair and makeup done with the other bridesmaids, so I'm a little bit worried about looking mannish and dowdy, or possibly confusing older people who think I'm on the boys' side because I actually have a penis or am hoping to have a penis in the future (I picture them explaining it to each other in hushed voices while they pass kleenex around, You know, like Chaz  Bono on Dancing with the Stars).

In an attempt to circumvent this awkwardness, I asked my friend Darci, who is an esthetician, if she would be willing to do my makeup on the day of the wedding. She was glad to, which was exciting, and last night we were talking about what I could do. We also discussed my hair. I have a lot of it and I am not much of a hair stylist so we were talking about a few different options.

Me: I was thinking I need to wear it up. Something with braids maybe?

Darci: I can do braids! I braided John-Robert's hair.

Me: Yeah, I saw the picture.You braided his hair in cornrows.

Darci: But actually, it would probably take five or six hours. I'm not sure I would have time.

Just imagine it.

Kyle and Emily, I'm going to have cornrows at your wedding. There may or may not be beads at the end.

The Last Wedding . . . .

Of the season, but probably the first of many. Rachael (with an "a") and Kale, the pioneering couple of our friend circle, were married two weeks ago, most likely setting things in motion that cannot be undone. They say weddings are contagious amongst friends in a similar manner to children and divorce. We'll see how things work out. I have some predictions.

I flew into San Francisco on Wednesday for the bachelorette party (reunited with Alexa, adorned Rachael with bling and a pimpstick, got confetti in my suitcase, and insulted some englishmen wearing pink). Alexa and I spent the next day in the city achieving attainable goals like napping in the park, eating frozen yogurt by the pound, seeing some old friends, and eating tacos for dinner. Goals are so much better when they're attainable. I'm never going to have a lofty goal again.

We drove up to Sea Ranch the next day. The Northern California coast is spectacular, craggy, and blue. The sun was shining the entire time. We stayed in a gorgeous house that slept eleven (had family dinner and mini friend-reunion, sing-alongs, dance parties, sunbathed, read, took photos in the sunset, hot-tubbed).

And then, the wedding. It was lovely and emotional and all the things a wedding should be. The bridesmaids were all in pink (a source of some trepidation) but everyone looked beautiful and/or handsome. Everyone in the wedding party rose to the occasion and gave a great toast (my favorite part of weddings) and then we danced like maniacs (my second favorite part). Our friend Kyle Carnes was the wedding photographer. He was running around like a mad man but it was definitely worth it. Here are some of the standouts and here is his website in case you are looking for someone to document your shining moment.