Hot Hot Hate II

So, to balance out all the hate this list emits into the world, I am also including love. This list is just like Switzerland.

People I hate:

People who wear running shoes in bars
Americans are notorious for wearing running shoes about town like they are an acceptable and fashionable form of footwear. All over the world Americans are picked out of the crowd by their shiny white running shoes, their Nalgene bottles, and their Lonely Planets. Fine. You are traveling. You may be walking long distances and maybe you don't want your feet to hurt. There are other footwear choices that would be more attractive but whatever. However, a night out in your city of residence? Unless you are also wearing full gym attire and a slight sweaty sheen from your recent venture at the gym, you shouldn't be wearing those shoes. Those are workout shoes. And they look dumb with your jeans.

Fun killers
Why? Why would you kill someone's fun? It may be that you are incapable of having fun because you are too self conscious or sober or depressed or existentially challenged. But that doesn't mean you need to step in with your heavy hand and ruin it for everyone else. Take your judging eyes and scathing comments somewhere else.

People who participate in consumer transactions while talking on their cellphone
When you are ordering a latte or depositing a check or buying a greeting card you expect their undivided attention and you should give them the same.

People I love:

Guys with weird combovers
It's just so awesome and fascinating. Everyone knows you're bald. You know you're bald. But you've got this long hair that grows by your ears and you have found various creative ways to wrap it around and attach it to your skull. And sometimes it comes loose in a strong breeze and starts waving around but that doesn't stop you. Thank you.

People who give me Reeses Peanut Butter Eggs on Easter
So great. It's a giant egg-shaped Peanut Butter Cup. More peanut butter, more chocolate, more everything.

People who eat more than me
I eat a lot. We went to Skamania Lodge for this brunch buffet (it was amazing! Endless mimosas and a whole dessert tray and crab and waffles and etc.) I ate two or three more plates more than my brother. He found it disturbing. He even tells his friends about it, like it is a defining feature of my character. I like it when I am not the person at the buffet table with the largest stack of plates.

Anticipation

I'm so excited for this show. Yeasayer. Wonder Ballroom. April 19. It's going to be the worst Tuesday ever.

Shi Shi

The weather's been brutal and I am getting increasingly antsy for summer. Besides the usual suspects: sunbathing, popsicles and swimming on the Washougal, I am looking forward to the second annual Shi Shi backpacking trip. Shi Shi Beach is out on the west coast of the Olympic Peninsula and it's beautiful and remote and you need a bear bucket for food storage (note: you absolutely have to have a bear bucket. Not because of all the bears. We didn't see any bears. But if you don't have one the rangers will make you walk back to trail head and ride with them to town to purchase a bear bucket). Highlights included: ferry rides, fat-kid food, gourmet pasta dinner flavored by hiking hunger, urine water, beach combing, solo misty morning exploration, and lots of laughter around the campfire. I'm hoping to expand our expedition team this year and perhaps stay another day. We did not get the requisite amount of exploring in last year but it was a good start.

Peace on Earth?

Everyone's favorite teenage hockey team is in the semi-finals. Caitlin is a Rosebud (they dance on ice and have red pom-poms and outfits she personally made from old hockey jerseys)and she has some mean spirit finger/clapping moves down. Pretty inspiring. Anyway she hooked me up with some tickets and my dad and I followed up a family Easter lunch (egg dyeing and all) by attending their game.

They lost! They lost to Vancouver (BC, not our friendly neighbors to the north) and really, Vancouver is a wonderful city and if we are going to lose to someone at least it was them and not somewhere lame like Oklahoma City or Ottawa. But there weren't any fights. Honestly, I was more disappointed by the lack of fighting than the loss. I'm pretty sure this makes me a bad person. Maybe even a horrible one.

Phantom House

My friend Kyle Arthur is surprisingly mysterious. He looks straightforward enough. He has a beard and a pleasant expression. He's not above wearing things like khaki cargo shorts to super hip events like PDX PopNow and tolerating people making fun of him to his face (me). But he also has a dark side.

He has a "girlfriend". Apparently they have been dating forever, since early college years and they live together. For the longest time we didn't believe that she existed. She never came out with us or accompanied him to events. We never saw her or proof of her (khaki cargo shorts? Why didn't you stop him?) Kyle was always a solo flyer and that was okay, but he continued to lie about this girlfriend of his and we continued to pretend that we believed him. Until she actually did show up at a bbq/living room dance extravaganza and dispelled the myths once and for all.

The issue of his home has yet to be solved. I have never been to Kyle Arthur's home. No one has. Apparently it's an apartment in NW, on like 20th or so, and Couch. Or so he says. He never has people over, no dinner parties, no pre-parties, no movie nights, no pizza parties. Nothing. And then he finally says he's going to invite people over, creates a facebook invite (that means it's real) and then pulls it today at the last second and aborts the whole mission. He promised us spanakopita. Hey Kyle, April Fools was yesterday. Not funny.

If it weren't for the fact that Kyle and I were enrolled in the same black and white photography class at UofO I would be 100 percent sure that Kyle Arthur is actually a crazy homeless impostor who paid a girl to show up at a party where all his young and attractive non-homeless friends were to keep the lie alive. I'm beginning to doubt him. We'll see. He has postponed the party for two weeks. . .