May 11, 2010

Breakin' the Deal

I don't know if you have seen the dealbreaker blog before, but it's hilarious. I check it out on a semi-regular basis and sit there and cackle. Thanks to Alexa for pointing it out. Here are some of my dealbreakers:

Your river sandals: Yeah. Tevas, Chacos, cheap imitations. It doesn't really matter. River sandals are creepy. The velcro, the exposure of hairy man-toes, the implied sportiness. Unless I see a boat and a river in direct contact with your feet, it's unacceptable.

You have emo hair: I am really glad that I didn't grow up in the time of emo rock. I was at the tail-end of adolescence when it really gathered steam. Knowing my teenage self, I would have totally loved all the skinny boys with swooping emo bangs and therefore would have had a decade's worth of lame, black-hair-dye, girl-jean crushes to lament. Thank god I escaped with my dignity. Those boys have grown up and as an adult I'm just not interested. Alexa put it best: They're just like, "I'm withering. Where's my mother?"

You are a monologuist: I'm not a total asshole but I do like to talk and sometimes I do like to talk about myself. Or variations of that. My trip to the beach. My shoes. My opinion. Whatever. Conversation must be shared and it gets really awkward when I'm just throwing a word in here or there and nodding a lot.

You love the Red Hot Chili Peppers: I don't think I really have to expand on this one. I hope not.

You submitted a photo to Cute Boys with Cats blog: See above.


Shiny Things and Cake said...

I love that we have some of the same dealbreakers. I will post mine soon as well. Think along the lines of pointy black dress shoes, dandruff, you don't dance, etc. Also, thanks for citations and "quotes."

Rachel Wrong said...

Ah! You don't dance for sure. There are so many more, I just didn't want to put all of them because then I really would look like an asshole.

Heidi said...

now that I figured out how to post on here, I feel that it's only right I list a few of my dealbreakers..
1. WWJD bracelets.
2. the word "kiddos."
3. underminers...specifically that girl that was in my training on Friday who felt the need to cut off the very articulate, intelligent speaker every 2 minutes and 7 seconds to bring up another completely assinine point that she felt the whole group would be dying to hear. She sucks. And she was wearing a very tight mini skirt with ripped up leggings to a professional social worker training thingy. Just seemed wrong.

Shiny Things and Cake said...

Yes, it is hard for us not to look like assholes. I wonder what that says about us?
I also meant, "thanks for THE citations and quotes."

Charisstopher said...

hair gel!