Hell in a Handbasket

I'm not all that up on popular culture in general. Those of you who make Full House, Saved by the Bell, and any number of childhood sitcom references, will be rewarded with a blank stare. I might even ask you, "Who's Stephanie Tanner?" I'm sorry. We didn't have cable. And I really, really liked cartoons.

That being said, I do read magazine covers in grocery stores, I happened to be working as a restaurant delivery phone operator in the internet cafe with big televisions on the night that Britney shaved her head (and therefore saw that CNN found it extremely newsworthy), and I occasionally glean things from Facebook (just found out that Michele Bachmann is a crazy, incompetent nutjob with nice hair).

And I am aware, somewhat, of the whole Justin Bieber thing. But look at this ad.

Could it be more unfortunate? He's so underage. What does that copy on the bottom mean? Who is the pervy older girl behind him and why is she smelling a famous child's hair? What has happened to the world? Someday this won't be so gross, but it is right now.