September 19, 2011


Ah, I guess I'm not as angsty as I used to be, because I can't remember the last time I compiled all the things I hate and described them to you in detail. Looks like it was in April last year.

But I have to tell you, I was waiting at a busy intersection today and the light turned green and I started to pedal but my foot slipped and I hit my shin on my pedal and almost fell off my bike and I screamed and this really slow round lady passed me as flailed around (I had passed her earlier) and then I was stuck behind her for a few blocks. And my shin is still aching. So, in honor of my pain:


People who carry helmets but don't wear them: I get it. Helmets are dorky. Tragically so. But if you have gone through the bother of purchasing a bike helmet and then decided to take it with you when you left the house, why not just put it on? In two days I have seen two people biking around with bike helmets attached to (1) their messenger bag, or (2) their handlebars, and I really can't think of anything stupider. My only consolation is that it's Darwin's theory in action.

Hipster jokes: Yeah, yeah, hipsters are really annoying and soulless and they ruin everything and everyone under the age of 35 is a hipster except for you and your friends who are really cool and yet somehow aren't hipsters. Who cares? Let's move on. Hipster jokes are OVER.

Wetsuits: While I am loving surfing, I'm not sure if I've communicated how horrible wetsuits are. Imagine trying to put on a onesie that is over 4 millimeters thick and three sizes too small for you. Because it's supposed to keep you especially warm, the only path of entry is through the neck hole at the top of the suit. You have to squeeze your body through what amounts to a cervix while it resists with every fiber of its neoprene being. Then there's taking it off. Your wet body in the suit creates the kind of vacuum seal that canning perishable item requires. Again, being born is an extremely accurate simile. And this whole process is a necessity every time you go surfing.


Nature shows in action: Sam and I went for a walk this morning and we witnessed a stand-off between a housecat and a baby opossum. It had such huge eyes and a very intimidating hiss. It finally disappeared into dark under the steps. However the cat went under there too. I know not its fate.

Old couples who know how to dance: We went to Oktoberfest in Mt. Angel this weekend and saw this great family polka band (Caitlin's future husband!). All of these old couples in lederhosen were up and skipping around, doing all these great dances moves and just generally looking awesome.

House Parties: You know, I hadn't been to a house party in a long while. We ended up at one this weekend, and I made new random friends, did some dancing, ate some cupcakes, saw from friends that I didn't expect to see, and then had a nice late night walk home. House parties are so much cosier than bars. I didn't know most of the people there, but everyone assumes you're somehow affiliated and treats you like a friend.


Kyle said...

God that old couple was amazing, especially when he flipped up her dress at us and gave us all a wink.

huy said...

aw man, I wish I was at Oktoberfest, I've never been there as an "adult" type figure.