April 4, 2011

Terror in the Streets

So, to those of you who were duped by my April Fool's post, I'm not sure if I should be flattered or offended. It's good to know my satirical powers are convincing, but it's also slightly disturbing to know how many of you are ready to believe I am one tiny step away from batshit crazy. Seriously though, if  I start talking Master Cleanse or Beyonce's groundbreaking role in Dreamgirls, feel free to stage an intervention.

Anyway, I'm totally done lying now. I am back to telling the truth. On my way to work I saw something horrible. Something that made a tiny piece of my soul die. I had a unicycle sighting. It's raining hard today and it's cold and here comes this nondescript gnome-faced guy on a giant unicycle. The worst part? He was wearing short shorts.



Tony said...

There's absolutely nothing wrong with short shorts.

What's wrong is upper man-thigh.

Gabe Rodriguez said...

Pardonez-moi, mon chérie...it's just that a pretty sizable handful of people close to me have been going literally mad in recent months, so forgive my lapse in judgment. I do apologize for my momentary lack of faith in the total security of your sanity, but you should certainly be flattered and not offended.

Besides, if you took offense to me and any other sucker who briefly fell into your obvious trap, I'd shove lemon juice, cayenne & maple syrup down your gullet after tying you up and turning "Dreamgirls" on loop. You've been warned!!

huy said...

I wonder if it was the same unicycle guy that used to ride by my old shop.